07
Feb

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What Happened When The Writer Of Scandal Said YES For An Entire Year?

One of my favorite things about my local library is a bookshelf near the front desk called the “Lucky Day” shelf. Here you might find books that are newer or highly in demand. Instead of going on a long waiting list, you may “luck out” and find just the treat you were looking for, or didn’t know you were looking for.

And that’s what happened to me last week, I found a real treat!Screen Shot 2016-02-07 at 11.31.59 AM

I picked up a book by Shonda Rhimes, the talented writer behind such television hits as Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal.

Year of Yes, How to Dance It out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person chronicles Shonda’s journey as an introvert who’s sister dropped the bomb that would forever change her life. Six words: “you never say yes to anything”.

“Whatever that spark is that makes each one of us alive and unique…mine had gone. Stolen like the painting on the wall. The flickering flame responsible for lighting me up from the inside, making me glow, keeping me warm…my candle had been blown out. I was shut down. I was tired. I was afraid. Small. Quiet.

Why?

You never say yes to anything.

Oh yeah. That.

I put down the glass of wine and lay on the sofa. And really thought about those six words.

You never say yes to anything.

Maybe it was time to start saying yes.

Maybe.

From The Year of YES, Shonda Rhimes

After some soul searching, Shonda challenged herself to a year of saying “yes” to new opportunities and experiences. As you might imagine, she got a whole lot of practice moving out of her comfort zone.

Shonda took me with her on her journey to YES, through her fears and fortunes, peppered with tears, laughter, drama, sass and style!

I couldn’t help but include a recommendation to read her book, in my newsletter this week. It’s such a great example of the discomfort that arises when we set out to change our world.

We have to start with ourselves, or no change will be seen. The journey seldom follows a straight or expected path. Delights and detours probably will crop up.

“I realized a very simple truth: that success, fame, having all my dreams come true would not fix or improve me, it wasn’t an instant potion for personal growth. Having all my dreams come true only seemed to magnify whatever qualities I already possessed.”

From The Year of YES, Shonda Rhimes

But what Shondra found, and what I see over and over in my clients, is that making these profound “being changes” results in the biggest bonus; Confidence like never before.

“Saying yes . . . saying yes is courage. Saying yes is the sun. Saying yes is life.”

From The Year of YES, Shonda Rhimes

Pick up a copy for yourself. I guarantee you will be touched, inspired, challenged and laugh out loud!

My Personal Tips to Help Ease The Ride To More YES and More Confidence

Take excellent care of your physical body.

That mechanism, ego-critic-drunk-monkey that has you thinking you’re going to “die” if you keep to your “yes”, is mainly concerned with keeping you safe.

When you consciously attend to the safety and well being of your body, you reduce much of it’s “chatter”, “whining” or “screaming”.

Plan time and space to release, integrate, or care for feelings that arise.

Feeling only stick around a very brief period of time if you let them flow. If you resist, stuff, medicate, or numb they get stuck. So find a way to allow your emotions to flow and move through you, in a way that feels safe to you.

Don’t know how to do that? See my blog post to get some help: http://thebeingcoach.com/emotions-getting-way-getting-want/

Take 5 Minutes to Listen and List All the Crazy Things Your Ego-Critic is Claiming

“There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Being traditional is not traditional anymore. It’s funny that we still think of it that way. Normalize your lives, people. You don’t want a baby? Don’t have one. I don’t want to get married? I won’t. You want to live alone? Enjoy it. You want to love someone? Love someone. Don’t apologize. Don’t explain. Don’t ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it.”

From The Year of YES, Shonda Rhimes

I’ve done this exercise with hundreds (maybe even thousands) of clients and it works the same every time.

Take the time to write down what your ego-critic-drunk-monkey (voice in your head, not your heart) is saying. What you’ll find is that it’s variations on 1-3 themes. It’s not endless fears, criticisms, or warnings. It’s 1-3; with embellishments to try to get you to pay attention.

When you resist the message, it’ll get larger, louder, fancier and harsher.

Take a piece of paper, write it all down and then ask:

  1. Really? Is this really something I need to worry about? Is it true? Is it what I want to be true?
  2. Who said so? Who told me this? Or who tells me this?
  3. Finally, what must I be or do, to insure this is not what happens, but what happens is what I want?

Tell me what happens when you do this. I’d like to hear from you. Hit me here in the comments or pop over to Facebook or Twitter.

Would you like support in your own Year of YES (and all the benefits that come with it)? Contact me to discuss whether my 6-Month Advanced Manifesting Mastermind could be a good fit.
503-908-0390.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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