The Three Things That Terrify Us Most This Time Of Year…

We have a fascination with scaring ourselves, this time of year, in particular. I think there are several reasons for this.

I think we crave sensation. We’re bombarded by so many forms of input in any one day, so many voices clamoring for our attention that all that distraction becomes background noise and we long for something that grabs our attention and helps us feel something.

And I think we enjoy feeling a fear we can understand, a fear that isn’t our deepest fear but we can focus on because it takes our attention away from what really scares us the very most.

What is it that truly frightens us, you ask? It’s not the chainsaws and dripping blood. It’s not the shuffle of the Zombie or the creepy bumps in the night—the monsters.

No, it’s the fear of the monsters within us—the monsters of emotional outburst, being out of control…or worse, not being recognized at all… ceasing to exist.

Let me make it as simple as possible and call out the 3 biggest fears we do our best to avoid, especially at this time of year.

Emotional Vulnerability

“We aren’t afraid of circumstances of activities.
We’re afraid of feelings. It takes real courage to feel our feelings.
Even if you just feel those feelings and don’t do what you’re afraid of,
you’re being courageous.”

Christian Mickelsen

We long for closeness, for acceptance and recognition—not only from others, but from ourselves so we can truly experience peace. And yet most of what we do creates canyons of space that keeps others at bay and distracts us from our true center.

We want to trust Life, our path and purpose, and those we’re closest to. But we were raised by the unskilled (through no failing of their own) and without teachers, we are the ignorant longing the other ignorant will help us unlock what we hope we are.

Out of Control

The voice that shouts the loudest is the voice that threatens we’ll lose control if we change. We crave familiarity, comfort, and the status quo. Nothing wrong with that, but every time we change our mind and begin to move in another direction, the voice of “stay where it’s safe and you are in control” drowns out the voice to “break free, fly, become your most glorious self”.


“Death is not the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.”
Norman Cousins

Many masters have pointed out that it’s not until we face our death, that we can begin to truly live. Until then, our fear of death pervades and influences everything we say, do, thing, and most of all — avoid.

Once we face our own mortality, vulnerability, place in the scheme of things and choose who and what we want to be, we gain freedom.

“When we overcome the fear of death,
we become deathless, endless, and infinite.”
Debasish Mridha

So What’s the Answer to That Which Frightens Us?

The possible pain of emotional vulnerability, experiencing overwhelm, uncertainty or feelings of being out of control, or facing our mortality keeps us where we are now. And if you don’t like where you are, facing any of these fears can have huge rewards—can catapult you toward who and what you most want to be.

So where to begin? Well, I’ll share with you the quickest pathway. Turn and face your fears. Call them out for what they are. Start a dialogue (on your own, or with a trusted, trained professional) and find out what’s really going on.

If you allow them, your fears will help you. They’ll point directly to what you most need to move forward with purpose and courage. The very thing that frightens you holds the key to your escape from the fear.

Don’t believe me? Join me for a Courage Conversation. Reach out to me here for a brief chat to see if your situation could benefit from our working together. Not everyone is ready to dedicate the time, energy and resources to their own healing and freedom. But if you long to learn how to live more fearlessly, I want to support you in your journey in any way I can.

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