What You Need To Know About Confidence
“The Key to increasing confidence is to stretch into success
with appropriately increasing challenges”.
Deborah Ivanoff, The BEING Coach
What are “appropriate challenges”?
Something that is possible but still stretches you but
isn’t so difficult or more than what you’ve achieved in the past to the point
where it will engage a feeling of defeat and discouragement.”
Years ago I took the time to think. really think about what I wanted for my growing children—happiness, wealth, health? Sure, all of those, but what is beneath all of those?
And then I stumbled upon a book about raising healthy children by “inoculating” them with Confidence. The author claimed that if you wanted healthy children, creating an inner confidence gave them a better chance of life-long health than any other factor.
That gave me something to think about, I tell you!
Confidence is What’s Underneath
Over the years, most clients have come to me, saying they want to make more sales, more money, climb into a higher category of performance. But when we drill down together, what most want is a higher level of quality of life. They want to feel better. They want peace of mind, health & wealth and yes…you guessed it, Confidence.
You can go to any gym and sign up to have a trainer help you come up with a plan that progresses you toward lifting more weights, running further, or attaining any level of physical performance you desire. And they all have at the core of their trainings, this one thing—they create a plan that allows you to progress, a step at a time, so your body can adjust to the new weight, distance, length of time.
“Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.”
So it is with Confidence. Confidence is not created in just one act, or in one huge act. No, true confidence, like weight-lifting is built through incremental steps that are first a challenge, but not overwhelming to that step before you or to the overall plan.
Confidence is an Important Step in Growth
I like to give an example from helping my children grow. And I owe so much of my parenting, in the practical sense to Katherine Kvoll’s teaching, Redirecting Children’s Behavior.
When my son was very young, he naturally wanted to push the boundaries and “do it myself”. I squashed my fear and impulse to say “you can’t move that whole chair, it’s too big for you” and instead said, “I see you are really enjoying lifting things and moving them. What else can we move? Will you help me move this (thing that wasn’t quite as heavy or precarious)?”
After we moved several things I might say “this chair is heavy. I think we can move it together. Will you help me?” I would let him move as much as he could, not take it away from him, but allow him to learn his current limits without my fears and without becoming discouraged.
Confidence in Daily Life
So how does this apply to sales, income, goals & dreams? Well, quite a bit really. I want to manifest results as fast as the next person but the number one factor, I find, that engages massive resistance to any performance plan is attempting a change that is “too big, too hard”.
Don’t get me wrong—I’ve seen amazing, miraculous, unexpected events unfold that are “big”, “spectacular”. I would never limit a client. However, when it comes to building confidence, the best way to do so is the “old fashion way”, just like a body builder—through regular practice and ever increasing steps in “difficulty factor” (weights).
Who determines the “difficulty factor”. You do. It’s no longer about the size, shape and weight of a chair, like when we were kids. Now it’s all about your current mindset and what you believe is possible. You simply can’t fake out the Universe. You can’t force it, make it happen, do it because you should, or someone else told you it’s for you.
What works is alignment, starting with clarity and genuine desire. Setting yourself up to succeed by practicing regular steps of expanding “challenge” is what builds your confidence, just like building a muscle.
Are their tools to help speed up the process. You know there are, just like in bodybuilding. And the tools that work, are the tools that work for you, specifically.
What You Can Do
Take some time to ponder, like I did years ago so that I might be a “deliberate parent”, the times you grew in confidence. What contributed to that? You’ll soon have your own “confidence plan” just like a personal trainer might help you create for your fitness goals.
Need help, schedule a “get to know you” here and I’ll help.