Are Your Emotions Getting In The Way Of Getting What You Want?
Ben first contacted me because he was feeling some anxiety about selling enough product to make his goals. His income was based on the amount of product he sold every month and he was afraid he wouldn’t make his quota.
Ben’s anxiety was causing him to forget follow up tasks, become distracted during the day, and procrastinate on key actions. Of course, this affected his bottom line.
Ben had tried various was to get rid of his anxiety. But none had worked. He called me when it got so bad he was having trouble sleeping.
Do You Experience Emotions That Affect Your Work?
Popular teachings say “mind your thoughts”, “engage your willpower”, “feel the fear and do it anyway”.
When these don’t work, that’s when I get a phone call.
“We work with nutrition and exercise to increase our energy, but we ignore the richest source of energy we possess—our emotions.”
Karla McLaren, The Language of Emotions
I explained to Ben that few of us ever saw those around us process our emotions so we never learned how to do so.
In fact, emotions have gotten a bad rap. We’ve placed more merit on the intellect, on the mind.
Emotions Run the Show
What I’ve found is that, much as we hate to think it’s true, human emotions run the show.
When a belief or fear is triggered in the brain, the emotions react and catapult us into fight, flight or freeze. We lose our higher brain’s ability to use logic and creativity together.
Is it any wonder we may have trouble focusing, getting tasks accomplished, remembering, or solving problems.
All our energy is allocated to one of 3 things; fight, flight or freeze.
When Ben came to me, he was experiencing “freeze”. But his body was locked in preparing to “flee”. That’s why he couldn’t sleep at night. He was on edge and his mind kept circling, getting nowhere.
We didn’t start with the emotions. We started with his body. I helped him to get some relief and a bit of space; to then explore what his emotions were trying to tell him.
Our Emotions As Messengers
Have you ever had a light on your car dashboard warn you that your car was running low on oil? What happened if you ignored it? Did it begin to flash, or maybe made a beeping or ringing sound?
That was an indicator of important information. If you didn’t care for the oil level in your car, you would be at risk of ending up, engine seized, on the side of the road.
Well, our emotions are trying to do the very same thing; act as indicators that something in the system is heading for an unwanted experience.
Emotions are celebrated and repressed, analyzed and medicated, adored and ignored — but rarely, if ever, are they honored.Karla McLaren
Obvious example of this are fears that are trying to warn you to turn back, go another way, stay away from someone or something unsafe.
But other emotions; anger, frustration, disappointment…even worry, have powerful messages for us, as well. We just have to listen, receive the guidance, use the guidance, and the emotion will vanish; message received.
For my client, Ben, his anxiety turned out to have some powerful information for him. He realized he had serious concerns about the product he was selling and the way he was selling it. He realized he was trying to sell in a way that ran counter to his own values.
Part of him was trying to force himself to make the sales. While another part was trying to keep him from suffering the pain of regret.
Ben and I worked to create a new plan that he felt in integrity with his values and life goals.
He did switch divisions and products within his company.
He also made changes in his selling process to care for his customers in a way that felt good to him. And his sales tripled that year.
An added bonus, was realizing that feeling anxiety could have a useful message; to change to better his life.
Tip If You’re Feeling Vivid Emotions
Understanding the message behind an emotion can be easier to do, if you care for your body first. Ultimately, thoughts, emotions and body want to keep you safe as priority 1.
When clients take good care of their body, I find most experience immediate, significant relief, leaving space to pay attention to the message of their emotions.
Then, when you are supported, you can begin to uncover the guidance your emotions are offering.
Need help? Listen below as I lead a class through a simple emotional guidance exercise to receive the messages your emotions are trying to give you.
Please comment below if you have found this helpful.